Épisode La Gardienne S04E02 - Wynonna Earp Saison 4

Dans les anciens locaux de la Black Badge Division, Wynonna n’a pas le temps de penser si Nicole va bien puisqu’elle se fait attaquer par d’autres zombies. Wynonna et Rachel essaient de se mettre à l’abri en évitant les monstres.

Doc ne comprend pas comment Nicole est arrivée dans le Garden. Cette dernière comprend qu’elle est toute nue et est très gênée, elle crie à Doc de regarder ailleurs et ce dernier met son chapeau devant lui. Doc décide de lui donner son manteau pour se cacher et ils se rendent compte qu’un champ magnétique entoure Nicole, elle ne peut pas sortir et personne ne peut y rentrer.

Waverly est en train de feuilleter le livre qu’elle a récupéré lorsque Doc se rapproche d’elle. Il se rend compte qu’elle s’est coupée pour nourrir la machine et la dispute, ils ne savent pas à quel point ça peut être dangereux. Doc finit par lui dire que Nicole est là et Waverly râle, il aurait dû commencer par ça.

Rachel attaque Wynonna avec une batte, pensant que c’était un méchant. Rachel lui dit qu’ils sont des scientifiques brillants qui cherchaient à ouvrir une porte dans une autre dimension. Lorsqu’ils ont réussi, la BBD a paniqué et les ont gazés. Wynonna essaie de savoir s’il y a un moyen de retrouver Nicole mais Rachel pense qu’elle n’a pas survécu à la chute. Alors que Rachel avoue à Wynonna qu’elle ne peut pas sortir sans savoir ce qui est arrivé à sa mère, Wynonna essaie de lui dire que cette dernière n’est plus de ce monde mais elles sont interrompues par les pas de zombies. Les filles décident de s’allier pour retrouver Nicole, Wynonna ne partira pas sans elle dans tous les cas.

Au Garden, Waverly retrouve Nicole et est surprise de la vue qui s’offre à elle. Lorsque Nicole lui demande de venir vérifier si elle va bien, Waverly se rend compte qu’elle est dans une espèce de prison. Waverly demande des nouvelles de Wynonna et tous les autres mais apparemment Nicole ne les a pas vu. Quand Waverly est contente de voir que c’est vraiment elle, Nicole lui demande qui ça pourrait être… Telle est la question.

On retrouve Nicole, la vraie cette fois, blessée à la jambe, criant le nom de Wynonna avant de voir qu’elle a de la compagnie.

Rachel tend à Wynonna une combinaison de décontamination ainsi qu’un masque pour se protéger des gaz encore présents avant de lui expliquer le plan : elles devront traverser le labo pour se rendre jusqu’à la salle où se trouve la porte mais avant ça, elles devront trouver des badges d’accès autour du coup des zombies. Rachel rappelle à Wynonna qu’il faut rester silencieux pour ne pas réveiller les laborantins.

Celle qui se fait passer par Nicole s’est recouverte de branche et de feuilles pour cacher sa nudité pendant que Waverly cherche une solution pour détruire le champ de force. Quand la machine s’énerve à nouveau, Doc décide que c’est à son tour de nourrir la machine et s’éclipse. Waverly devient de plus en plus suspicieuse surtout lorsque « Nicole » est méchante envers Doc.

Doc de son côté, s’apprête à nourrir la machine lorsqu’une porte s’ouvre.

Rachel et Wynonna entrent dans le laboratoire et commencent à prendre le plus de badges possibles, sans faire de bruit lorsque le masque de Wynonna se casse, laissant entrer l’air impur.

Nicole refuse de se laisser tuer par l’homme qui rampe vers elle, ce n’était pas comme ça qu’elle s’était imaginée mourir mais plutôt dans les bras de Waverly.

Waverly remarque que « Nicole » ne porte pas sa bague mais ne s’y attarde pas tellement. Alors que Nicole devient virulente à propos de Dieu, Waverly est de plus en plus mal à l’aise.

Wynonna a de plus en plus de mal à respirer et manque de plus en plus d’oxygène ce qui l’a fait agir comme si elle était bourrée. Rachel et Wynonna testent plusieurs cartes pour ouvrir la porte avant de trouver la bonne pendant que le zombie s’approche de plus en plus de Nicole et s’apprête à la mordre. Wynonna lui donne un coup de batte avant de s’effondrer sur Nicole qui la trouve complètement différente de d’habitude.

Doc découvre une nouvelle pièce où se trouve le portrait de Nicole d’un côté et se rend compte que Nicole n’est pas Nicole, c’est un imposteur. Il se précipite pour retrouver Waverly et la sauver.

Rachel compte 3 fractures sur la jambe de Nicole. Wynonna rend la bague à Nicole qui lui dit qu’elle n’a pas eu le temps d’accepter la proposition de sa bien-aimée. L’Héritière demande à sa meilleure amie si elle veut bien ouvrir la porte du Garden avec elle mais Rachel découvre le corps de sa mère, elle ne les laissera pas passer.

Au Garden le champ magnétique se rompt et Waverly et Nicole sortent, Waverly embrasse Nicole avant de se rendre compte que ce n’est pas elle mais Eve. Eve veut faire souffrir tout le monde.

Wynonna et Nicole essaient de calmer Rachel et la rousse avoue que Wynonna savait depuis le départ que la mère de Rachel était morte. En lui montrant que ce ne sont que deux amies qui essaient de sauver leurs proches, Wynonna et Nicole réussissent à convaincre Rachel de poser son arme.

Eve, sous l’apparence de Nicole, traîne Waverly qui la frappe mais Eve l’étrange. Doc arrive et frappe Eve qui prend l’apparence de Jeremy ce qui le déstabilise.

Wynonna et Nicole n’ont plus beaucoup de temps pour passer par la porte car les zombies s’énervent de l’autre côté.

Doc continue à frapper Eve tandis que Waverly essaie de reprendre son souffle. Doc plante un sécateur dans le ventre de Eve qui prend l’apparence de Wynonna. Waverly utilise ses pouvoirs pour faire perdre connaissance à Doc et se dirige vers le trône de son père.

Wynonna et Rachel appuient sur tous les boutons dans l’espoir de voir s’ouvrir cette fameuse porte. Rachel lance son arme à Nicole pour qu’elle puisse se défendre, arme qui n’était pas en sécurité. Les filles arrivent à ouvrir la porte avec les deux cartes de sécurité et Wynonna se précipite pour tirer Nicole mais elle souffre beaucoup trop. Nicole envoi Wynonna seule chercher sa sœur et Doc, ça doit être elle qui s’en occupe. Elle promet à Wynonna d’être là à son retour, elle l’attendra à Purgatory. Rachel promet à son tour qu’elle ne laissera pas Nicole seule et Wynonna décide de franchir la porte. Juste avant que ça ne se referme, Nicole lance sa bague à Wynonna.

Wynonna découvre le Garden et voit son double maléfique avant d’entendre Doc crier le nom de Waverly. Waverly quant à elle, s’assoie sur le trône de son père. Elle est désormais le Gardien et elle empêche Eve de bouger.

Rachel et Nicole se soutiennent mutuellement mais Rachel ne sait pas si elle va réussir. Elle raconte l’histoire de sa famille alors que Nicole est dans ses bras, se battant de toutes ses forces contre la douleur. Alors que Rachel pense qu’elles vont mourir, Nicole lui dit de se battre, la guerre n’est pas terminée, elle sort une grenade et lorsque les zombies entrent dans le labo, Nicole la lance sur eux.

Wynonna retrouve Doc mais ce dernier pense qu’il s’agit encore d’Eve alors ils se battent l’un contre l’autre quelques instants. Même le souvenir d’Alice et des souvenirs communs ne le fait pas revenir à la raison. Seul leur mot code convainc Doc et quand il se rend compte que c’est vraiment Wynonna, les deux s’embrassent. Ils finissent par se séparer, Doc part s’occuper de Eve tandis que Wynonna va voir sa sœur. Wynonna essaie de convaincre Waverly de partir avec elle mais Waverly prend son rôle de Garden très à cœur, elle ne doit pas laisser partir Eve.

Doc se bat avec Eve qui prend tantôt l’apparence de Wynonna, tantôt celle de Jeremy. Lorsque Doc lui met un coup de pied dans le ventre juste devant une porte, Eve est aspirée dedans et Doc fonce retrouver les sœurs Earp.

Quand Wynonna essaie de s’approcher de Waverly, cette dernière l’expulse au loin. Wynonna utilise alors la bague qu’elle a donné à Nicole pour l’atteindre, elles ne sont pas que des gardiens mais des Earp. Wynonna lui promet que même si Nicole ne lui a pas donné sa réponse, elle lui dira oui. Waverly finit par accepter l’aide de Wynonna qui lui glisse la bague au doigt et lui demande de la ramener à la maison.

Wynonna, Waverly et Doc essaient de trouver la porte qui les ramèneront chez eux sous une tempête de neige. Lorsque l’une d’elle se met à scintiller, ils comprennent que c’est leur porte de sortie. Avant de partir, Waverly décide de laisser la bague de Bulshar dans le Garden.

Wynonna se réveille dans la neige, juste devant les escaliers. Elle cherche ses compagnons et part à leur recherche. Doc, lui, se réveille auprès d’un puits mais cette fois, pas à l’intérieur. Il a le sac de Waverly dans la main et décide de le jeter dans le puits mais de garder le livre. Il part ensuite pour rejoindre la maison. Waverly se réveille à son tour et fonce à l’Homestead rejoindre Nicole.

Lorsque Waverly s’approche de l’Homestead, elle est accueillie par des tirs de fusils et lorsque Nicole la reconnaît, elles s’enlacent et s’embrassent, heureuses de se retrouver. Les filles entrent dans la maison et se retrouvent intimement sur l’oreiller (et dans les escaliers).

Doc et Wynonna se retrouvent dans les rues de Purgatory, Wynonna lui rend ses armes et ils s’apprêtent à s’embrasser lorsqu’ils se rendent compte de l’état de la ville avec des homes pendus dans la ville.

Nicole s’amuse à dire pourquoi elle aime Waverly et lui avoue qu’elle le fera le reste de sa vie. Nicole est très émotive, Waverly lui a énormément manqué. Lorsque Nicole lui dit qu’elle a tout fait pour garder l’Homestead en sécurité, Waverly lui demande alors combien de temps elle a été absente. La réponse ne tarde pas : 18 mois, 3 semaines et 4 jours.

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Wynonna : Nicole! Nicole! Girl, you are in a league of your own.

Rachel : Lady, we gotta leave.

Wynonna : How far down does it go?

Rachel : All the way.

Wynonna : Ah! My sister's girlfriend is mutant meat or a pancake! Waverly's gonna kill me!

Rachel : They're gonna kill you! I'm gone.

Wynonna : Haught! Stay alive! I'm gonna come find you!

 

Garden

Doc : You are here!

"Nicole" : I am!

Doc : But how are you here? And, uh… Why did your garments not accompany you?

"Nicole" : Ahh! Oh my God! Don't look at me!

Doc : I was not!

"Nicole" : Do not look at me!

Doc : I would never! Although… Sheriff Haught...

"Nicole" : Oh my God!

Doc : I have seen many a fine formed women in my lifetime.

"Nicole" : Nope! Nope.

Doc : This is nothing to me, this is merely water off a duck's back.

"Nicole" : Well, I am not a damn duck, so stop talking and find me something to wear!

Doc : I cannot get in.

"Nicole" : And I can't get out.

Doc : I shall fetch help. And pants. And Waverly. I will get Waverly!

"Nicole" : Yeah. Yeah, Waverly!

 

Doc : Waverly. Waverly Earp!

Waverly : Hey! The fire's died down. You know… Also, we built a fire?

Doc : You cut your hand. You fed the machine. Don't you know how dangerous this is?

Waverly : No, and neither do you. We don't know anything!

Doc : I know I swore to protect you!

Waverly : aAnd I am trying to protect this place, just like my father did.

Doc : Since when? Stop talking nonsense and listen!

Waverly : I am a fully grown half-angel. And an adult human lady!

Doc : Speaking of adult, Nicole is here!

Waverly : What? Where? How?

Doc : She's in this hole just a way back there.

Waverly : Next time, maybe lead with that!

Doc : Well, Lord knows I tried!

Waverly : Well… Are you sure it's her?

Doc : I saw her with my own two eyes.

Waverly : How does she look?

Doc : Um… I think you will be pleased.

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Rachel : Eat wood!

Wynonna : Ugh!

Rachel : My bad.

Wynonna : Teenagers are the worst! Has anyone in history ever noted that before?

Rachel : I said, my bad.

Wynonna : Those things are everywhere.

Rachel : "Those things" used to be brilliant physicists. They were working on some inter-dimensional gateway.

Wynonna : To the Garden?

Rachel : Whatever it was, Black Badge was trying to weaponize it. But once they actually got the thing to open, BBD panicked and gassed everyone.

Wynonna : It's the 2005 Chili Cookoff all over again… minus the edibles-laced cornbread, and Hollaback Girl on repeat.

Rachel : You might be even weirder than me. And my best friend for six months has been a rat.

Wynonna : There's gotta be another way to get into the lower levels.

Rachel : If your friend fell into the lab, she's already bread for the walking dead. But if she fell into the gate room...

Wynonna : Yeah, she fell into the gate room.

Rachel : Because you want that to be true?

Wynonna : Hey, you know what? What are you doing here, kid? Huh? You've been camping out here at mutant manor for what? Months? Years?

Rachel : I can't leave my mom, okay? I know the chances of Dr. Gloria Valdez having survived is more unlikely than an anti-vaxxer who Botoxes, but I need to know what happened to her. And if I find proof she bit it, I bounce.

Wynonna : Were you home-schooled, kid? 'Cause you might want to workshop that eulogy.

Rachel : All I'm trying to say is… if the gas turned her totally toxic Avenger, I'll take care of it. Like… That means I kill her myself.

Wynonna : I cracked that code.

Rachel : Yeah, okay.

Wynonna : Rachel...

Rachel : Shh!

Wynonna : Yeah, I'll tell you later. Rachel, we can't hide forever. I'm gonna go find Nicole with or without you.

Rachel : Okay, okay yeah. There is another way into the lab. But we really need three people to get in.

Wynonna : Well, we have two. And bonus, they're both super fucking weird. So listen, we can help each other, alright? But I'm not leaving this place until I find my friend. And I didn't bring any deodorant.

Rachel : I can tell.

Wynonna : Nope, not abandoning any of 'em. My Haught cop. My celestial sister. My vampire baby daddy.

Rachel : Your life is wildin', girl.

Wynonna : Together.

 

Garden

Waverly : Nicole! Baby!

"Nicole" : Waverly?

Waverly : You're here, you're really here! How?! How are you here?

"Nicole" : I have no idea! It's so foggy. For a second I was there, and then I was...

Waverly : Wow.

"Nicole" : Are you okay?

Waverly : Are you?

"Nicole" : Get in here and check.

Waverly : What? Oh, God! Baby, you're in some sort of silo prison.

"Nicole" : Yeah, and Doc saw me naked! But it's fine, I'm over it, so...

Waverly : So, where is everyone else? Is Purgatory okay? Did you see Wynonna?

"Nicole" : No, it's just… it's just me. Here with you, now.

Waverly : God, it's really you.

"Nicole" : Waverly… Who else would I be?

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot - Lab

Nicole : Wynonna! Argh! I'm down here, I'm still alive! Ow. Oh, walnuts. Who are you?

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Rachel : The lab is kept deoxygenated to keep the samples sterile.

Wynonna : All those words make me itchy.

Rachel : Unless you want to suffocate, we have to wear decontamination suits and masks.

Wynonna : Ebola outbreak, but make it fashion. Got it.

Rachel : We have to cross the lab to get into the gate room. But first, we need to find a keycard that opens the door to the gate room.

Wynonna : And where do we think that is?

Rachel : Around the neck of some mutant Black Badge scientists. The good news is they tend to stay dormant, in stasis, unless you wake them.

Wynonna : Say, with a beaver blaster?

Rachel : Is everything a sex joke to you?

Wynonna : I do try to scissor one in as often as possible. So how do we do this?

Rachel : I have to find the other keycard. And once we're in the gate room, we have to swipe both cards simultaneously to reopen whatever portal my mom was working on.

Wynonna : We'll only have one chance to find what's at the bottom of the Nic-hole.

Rachel : And the lab is full of rabid lab coats. So whatever you do, keep it quiet.

Wynonna : What?

 

Garden

Waverly : We could short circuit the force field?

Doc : But with what?

"Nicole" : Ah! There! That's better! Slay!

Waverly : Lemme guess: Island of Lesbos, resort collection?

"Nicole" : What the hell is that?

Waverly : It's just time to feed the machine.

"Nicole" : The machine?

Doc : It is my turn. I will go.

"Nicole" : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys? There's a machine?

Waverly : Yeah. It runs on blood. Human blood. Yeah, we have to feed it... blood.

"Nicole" : Sure. Okay. So what happens if you didn't? Feed it, I mean?

Doc : I do not think we want to find out.

"Nicole" : Wow. This place is a lot.

Waverly : I still don't understand how you got here.

"Nicole" : Yeah. Me neither. Baby? I have got to get out of this cage, okay? 'Cause these cherry blossoms, this force field, they're not my friends.

Waverly : Do you hear that?

"Nicole" : I'm pretty sure I don't.

Waverly : It's calling to me. The throne. My father's throne.

"Nicole" : Julian.

Waverly : Kevin said that I would sit on it, to save the world. And that I would turn to stone.

"Nicole" : Ha… Waverly… Baby, you've already sacrificed so much.

Waverly : Yeah, well, I'm not the only one. Doc became a vampire to save us.

"Nicole" : Oh. Is that why he did it? Yeah, see… I thought he was just scared to grow old and... die.

Waverly : That's pretty harsh.

"Nicole" : I'm sorry. Look, I think I'm just hangry.

Waverly : Yeah, well, imagine being Doc. He hasn't fed in days.

 

Doc : Ah, there, there, you old boot. You need more blood? I know the feeling.

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Wynonna : Ugh! Everything's gone to shit, must be Tuesday!

 

Nicole : No way, not today. When I dreamt about dying, it involved me in Waverly's arms and Waverly in Sara Lance cosplay.

 

Garden

Waverly : The garden is coming to life. You're not wearing Bulshar's ring.

"Nicole" : Well, yeah, I… I guess he's gone now. Bulshar.

Waverly : Oh yeah, we smote that basic bish but good. Smoted? Smited?

"Nicole" : Hey, did you ever think to ask him why he was trying so hard to get in here in the first place?

Waverly : I just assumed, like most balding sociopaths, he wanted to play God.

"Nicole" : Woman, look around! God… hasn't been here for a long, long time. Yup. He hit it, then he quit it. Left humanity on read.

Waverly : Maybe we should just, like, chill on the God talk.

"Nicole" : And what kind of batshit playground experiment for creation was this?

Waverly : You know, there was a guy, when Doc and I first got here. He called this place a prison. And then he sort of chopped off his own head.

"Nicole" : Men. So dramatic, right?

Waverly : Yeah, I guess. So are you, like, super pissed that Wynonna drugged you?

"Nicole" : The things I'm pissed about… well, it's a long list. But… all will be remedied one by one by one, just as soon as I get out of here. Baby.

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Wynonna : My mask. I can't breathe. What's it called when you don't get enough oxygen and you feel drank, and you start to...

Rachel : You're getting hypoxeia.

Wynonna : Yeah. Talk about silent but deadly. Mask leak, c'est chic. Oh, get back down there, mister!

Rachel : Shut up.

Wynonna : Oh shit. Oh! Nice to see you, mute-aunt, where's my mute-uncle? Nowhere. Bad for brain. We're good, we're good. Nice one, lil' baby condom! But which, which is which?

Rachel : I don't know!

Wynonna : Fuck you! Yeah!

 

Nicole : Who's a girl gotta screw around here to get a gun?

Wynonna : Hiya, Red!

Nicole : Wynonna!

Wynonna : Hi! Who's your crawl-y friend?

Rachel : She almost killed us, getting to you.

Nicole : What's wrong with her?

Rachel : Hypoxia.

Wynonna : I wasn't gettin' no oxygen. Okay? None.

Nicole : You're something else, Earp.

Wynonna : I don't ever half ass it. I ass and a half it.

Nicole : Whatever you are, you're… you're my ass.

Wynonna : That sounds kinda lesbian.

Nicole : Ugh!

 

Garden

Doc : Well, I'll be damned. Not literally, I hope. Nicole. The many faces of Nicole. Not Nicole. An imposter. This prison is not for us. It is for the thing I left Waverly alone with!

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Rachel : Her leg is definitely broken in at least two places.

Nicole : Oh! Ah! Ah!

Rachel : Three.

Wynonna : It's okay. When we get out of here, I'm going to draw a bunch of dicks on your cast.

Nicole : That's really sweet. You know, from a fall like that, I still think I got off pretty easy.

Wynonna : Well, we all like to get off. But you, please, have to stop dropping things.

Nicole : You know, if this is a proposal, I gotta say… it's missing some baby carrots.

Wynonna : I don't know what that means.

Nicole : It means, I'm already spoken for. I just haven't had a chance to tell Waverly that.

Wynonna : Sheriff, I'm sick and tired of listening to all the disgustingly hot premarital sex you're having in my house.

Nicole : You've been listening?

Wynonna : So let's go make you make an honest woman out of my little sister. Nicole Haught, will you open the back door to the maybe garden of Eden with me?

Rachel : No one's opening anything.

Nicole : Is that... ?

Wynonna : Dr. Gloria Valdez.

Rachel : My mom died trying to keep this portal shut. Try to change that and I'll kill you.

 

Garden

Waverly : Doc was supposed to feed the machine!

"Nicole" : Yeah, and he failed. Again! Big surprise!

Waverly : What's happening?

"Nicole" : Let freedom reign. Friggin' finally! Ah-ha! Thank you, Waverly! Come on.

Waverly : Wait. Nicole… You taste like...

Doc : Waverly! Waverly, get away from her! That thing is not Nicole!

Waverly : Like sulfur.

"Nicole" : Why are the smoke shows always dumb as shit?

Waverly : God, if you hurt the real Nicole...

"Nicole" : Oh, sweetie… I'm going to hurt all of you. You can call me Eve.

Doc : Stay away from her!

"Nicole" : And the important thing is, I'm out.

Waverly : Ah!

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Nicole : Rachel! Your Mom wouldn't want this for you.

Rachel : Stop pretending like you know her.

Wynonna : I know how your mom felt. 'Cause I would die to save my sister. Or kill. Anyone. Everyone.

Nicole : Wynonna, tell her the truth.

Wynonna : I really did lose my Mom, a lot of people, when I was young, but I grew up. And now you have to. Your mom did this so you could.

Nicole : Wynonna knew your mom was dead. Before we even got here.

Wynonna : Narc.

Rachel : You lied to me. You're Black Badge.

Nicole : No. We're two friends.

Wynonna : Best friends. She said it first, there's no take-backs right?

Nicole : ... who love the same angel more than anything in the world.

Rachel : You're… You're polygamists?

Wynonna : Something is happening on the other side of the door, I've got to get through!

Rachel : They just, they just left her here to rot. I couldn't save her.

Wynonna : Well, let us save someone else.

 

Garden

Waverly : Whatever you are, Doc's going to kill you.

"Nicole" : Ah, save your heteronormative hero hogwash for humanity, sweetie, which incidentally, I preclude by eons.

Waverly : Just say you're old, you pretentious bitch!

"Nicole" : I am a nightmare unto the world. And your cherubic little daddy died before he could teach you how to save it. From me!

Waverly : Ah! For once I wish we'd just take on a demon that isn't such a talker, you know?

"Nicole" : Well, it's not all bad news. See, you succeeded where the snake failed. You freed me from this prison. You and your cute little cowboy.

Doc : I am a gunslinger, you amateur.

"Jeremy" : The best in the west! Hi, gorgeous! Ya miss me?

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Rachel : But I screwed all this up.

Nicole : Hey, your mistakes do not define you. This crazy chick without a gun is living proof of that.

Wynonna : Nicole and I are going through that portal to rescue our people and all the bullets in the world are not gonna stop us. You just wanted to punch her again.

Nicole : I can't believe I may be stuck with you forever.

Wynonna : It's cracking.

Rachel : Oh shit, shit, shit!

Wynonna : Well, if we're going to get into the garden, we do it now, this is our only way out.

 

Garden

"Jeremy" : Oh! Wow, you are real handsome when you lose control.

Doc : You do not get to speak as him.

"Jeremy" : Please, Holliday. Please. Don't hurt me.

Doc : Shut your lying mouth.

"Jeremy" : Earth angel brought a demon. Smart.

Waverly : Doc!

"Jeremy" : You're one of us! When are you gonna man up and pick a side?

Doc : From the devil that cannot even pick a face.

"Jeremy" : Don't think about leaving! I'm not done with you yet.

Doc : You are done. And you will never touch her aga...

"Wynonna" : Doc. How could you? I love you.

Waverly : Enough.

Doc : More than. Come now, we are vamoosing.

Waverly : I cannot let Eve leave her prison.

Doc : We will not.

Waverly : I will not.

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Rachel : Do these even connected to anything or is it just like that door close button on the elevator?

Wynonna : Yank the… Tug the… Yeah, fine, everything is a sex joke, okay?

Nicole : Guys, they're almost inside!

Rachel : Toss her your gun!

Nicole : Ah!

Wynonna : With the safety on!

Rachel : I'm sorry!

Wynonna : Key cards, we gotta the thing with the key cards! Ready? One, two, three!

Rachel : Holy shit. Lit like a Fukushima weekend.

Wynonna : Red... Don't let all my tricep dips go to waste.

Nicole : Ah! My leg's broken!

Wynonna : Well, suck it up, Sheriff, she needs you!

Nicole : No, Doc and Waverly need you, they need the Earp heir. I need medical attention.

Wynonna : Don't you dare do this to me, not after all your guilt trips and your punching.

Nicole : Yeah, we do have fun, don't we?

Wynonna : They're almost inside. They'll kill you.

Nicole : Not a chance. I'm gonna be waiting for you back in Purgatory.

Wynonna : Nicole, Nicole. I can't. I can't do this without you.

Nicole : Actually, only you can. It has to be you, Wynonna. It was always gonna be you.

Rachel : The gate is closing!

Wynonna : Don't you dare leave her alone.

Rachel : I won't. I swear.

Wynonna : I'll see you at home.

Nicole : All of you.

Wynonna : Ahh!

Nicole : Earp!

 

Garden

Wynonna : Argh! Huh? Oh, man. Titanic taught a whole generation of chicks they can just throw away jewelry, like "hey!" Come on. I'm already here. And I'm only wearing half a shirt. I'm gonna catch a cold. I know you're probably evil, but minus the shears through your stomach, whatever you're doing with your bod is working. Are you a clone? Wy-Clone-A?

"Wynonna" : I am Eve. I'm Death.

Wynonna : God… is my voice really that annoying?

"Wynonna" : I am going to flay your friends alive and strangle you with their skin.

Wynonna : Jesus, Orphan Whack. Take a Midol and a nap.

Doc : Waverly!

Wynonna : Okay. Well, at least I know I'm in the right place.

"Wynonna" : Fucking humans.

 

Waverly : Eve cannot escape. She cannot be allowed to enter the realm of Men. I am the Guardian. I am the failsafe.

 

"Wynonna" : Ugh!

 

Black Badge Division Hotpsot

Rachel : Maybe Wynonna didn't make it through?

Nicole : Oh no. No, that's a good sign. She's definitely driving somebody crazy in there.

Rachel : The mutants are almost through. I can't do this anymore.

Nicole : Hey, hey, hey, hey. Rachel. Rachel Valdez… Where you from?

Rachel : The Yucatan. My... our family's line goes all the way back to the Mayans. Actually… my mom used to tell me this story about our ancestors.

Nicole : Hey. Don't stop there, George R. R. Martin.

Rachel : About 300 years ago, there was this mestiza princess. A warrior princess.

Nicole : Ooh. Mayan Xena. I already dig her.

Rachel : They called her The Valdez.

Nicole : That is awesome.

Rachel : I know, right? After she proved worthy in war, The Valdez was given an entire kingdom to rule, and immortality to do so.

Nicole : Wow, that beats a shiny medal.

Rachel : Hey, Nicole, are we gonna die?

Nicole : No. Maybe. But we've still got options. Right?

Rachel : Like what?

Nicole : We fight. This war isn't over. It's just beginning.

Rachel : Oh God, I can't believe I'm going to go out blasting beavers.

Nicole : Yeah, stick with me, kid. I'll show you how it's done. Get down!

 

Garden

Wynonna : Mr. I-Am-A-Weapon, it's me, Mr. I-Am-A-Happy-To-See-You.

Doc : I see the shears did not fell you? Well, maybe this will. Argh!

Wynonna : What the hell, Doc? As far as reunions go, this is better than my high school, but not as good as 90210.

Doc : I demand you stop using the voice of the woman that I care deeply for.

Wynonna : "Care deeply for"? At least I know you're the real emotionally constipated Doc.

Doc : And you are a fraud! And a harlot!

Wynonna : Ahh! That's like your favorite thing about me.

Doc : The real Wynonna is back in Purgatory.

Wynonna : Listen! I found Nicole, she decked me, we did a road trip, we got sniped, met a mouthy teen, we found and broke into an abandoned facility, and then we killed a bunch of scientist mutants. But now I'm here! And we gotta get back there.

Doc : That is exactly what the false Wynonna would say. Your tricks are useless.

Wynonna : Tricks are for kids. We had one. Alice. Remember? Huh?

Doc : Alice.

Wynonna : It's me, Doc. It's me. I'm no deep fake. I'm real.

Doc : I cannot risk it. I swore to protect Waverly!

Wynonna : Hollywood! Our safe word.

Doc : For when private time gets too...

Wynonna : Honky tonk.

Doc : It is you.

Wynonna : You came back to save her.

Doc : I said that I would.

Wynonna : Do we have time for this?

Doc : No, alas.

Wynonna : Where is Waverly?

Doc : Yonder. You go to her. I will deal with your other half.

Wynonna : Go easy on her money-maker. Actually go hard. I don't need the competition.

 

Wynonna : What did you do?

Waverly : I came home.

Wynonna : This is not your home. Your home is with me! And Nicole.

Waverly : This is my destiny.

Wynonna : Doc. Jeremy. Nedley?

Waverly : I've always been here. I will always be here. Time is a flat circle.

Wynonna : Your ass is gonna be a flat circle if you spend eternity on that thing.

Waverly : She cannot be allowed to escape. This is my duty. I am the heir.

Wynonna : Not this lukewarm shit again.

 

Doc : There was never a horse that could not be broken.

"Wynonna" : Or a cowboy who could not be thrown.

"Jeremy" : Ah. 'Sup, Doc? You really gonna be able to snuff the life outta these puppy dog peepers?

Doc : Nothing but a parlor trick.

"Jeremy" : No. No. A very special skill. You're impressed, admit it. Terrified too. Ugh, God, there is so much useless pop culture knowledge in this thing. I...

Doc : It is not useless!

"Jeremy" : Ugh!

Doc : It shows he has passion!

"Jeremy" : I also have a passion. And it involves me leaving this godforsaken place, and getting what I'm owed in the Ghost River Triangle.

Doc : You are stronger than I expected.

"Jeremy" : Guess he's been working out.

Doc : I would like to congratulate the real Jeremy on his fitness transformation, but right now, it's a real hassle.

"Jeremy" : I told you, I'm leaving, and I'm getting to Purgatory!

Doc : You are right about the first part. We are running out of time. Earps! It is high time we saddle up!

 

Wynonna : Waverly Earp, you need to stand your hiney up off that stone seat before it's too late.

Waverly : I am the guardian. You are the champion.

Wynonna : What we are is sisters.

Waverly : We must all submit to our destinies.

Wynonna : I am done submitting to shit. Fine. We'll do it the hard way. Waves, what the hell?

Waverly : You cannot undo what has been promised.

Wynonna : Right, right. 'Cause promises are important. I have the ring you gave Nicole. Stand up and come with me. Give it back to her.

Waverly : The guardians of the garden do not get to love.

Wynonna : You are not just the guardian. You are an Earp.

Waverly : She didn't even say yes.

Wynonna : She will, baby girl. The curse is over, Waves, it's time to start living for ourselves.

Waverly : Wynonna… Help.

Wynonna : All this destiny, curse, fate, heirs of anything bullshit? It's canceled.

Waverly : Take me home.

Doc : Girls?!

Waverly : What do we do about the shape-shifter? How do we keep Eve locked in the garden?

Wynonna : We'll find another way. We always Earpin' do.

 

Waverly : Ahh!

Doc : Hurry!

Waverly : Okay! This is it! What the hell? Oh, my God! Please tell me you remember. Third times a charm!

Wynonna : Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Waverly : Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Seriously?

Wynonna : This one.

Waverly : Knock, knock, anybody home?

Wynonna : Which one is it?

Waverly : Shit!

Doc : My money is on the one that is glowing!

Wynonna : Oh yeah.

Waverly : Let's blow this popsicle… Er, blood machine murder stand!

Wynonna : Ahh! Wait!

Doc : There's no more time!

Wynonna : The ring!

Waverly : No, that thing is tacky as hell! Enough! No more semi-biblical bullshit, okay?

Wynonna : Okay. Eden? More like eatin' a… dick!

 

Outside - Stairs

Wynonna : And I'm back at the stairs. Waverly? Doc? Peacemaker? It's gone forever. But they're not. They made it. They had to.

 

Outside - Well

Doc : Back at the well. But not in it. Woo, doggie! In your face, you stupid hole. Wynonna ? Waverly? I got your satchel! Home.

 

Outside

Waverly : Home. Nicole. Nicole!

 

Homestead

Nicole : Eat shit, shit eater! I'm warning you. No trespassing! Waverly.

Waverly : It's me. It's me.

Nicole : Oh God, it's you.

Waverly : I'm home.

Nicole : Are you real?

Waverly : Are you?

Nicole : Get in here and check.

 

Outside - Street

Doc : You made it. Waverly?

Wynonna : I think we both know where she went first. We'll find her. I believe these belong to you.

Doc : If you ever need them, they are yours. So am I.

Wynonna : Oh my God, Doc. The town.

 

Homestead

Waverly : I don't think I've ever been this happy. So why do I feel like bawling?

Nicole : Well, after what we just did, you're probably pretty dehydrated. Your laugh is like Christmas. Your lips are so soft.

Waverly : Are you going to spend all day listing all the things you like about me?

Nicole : More like the rest of my life.

Waverly : I love you. I'm also loving the Little Mermaid vibes. So what, you just zipped into the Ghost River Triangle and got extensions?

Nicole : I just grew it out.

Waverly : What?

Nicole : Sorry, I just… I just missed you so much.

Waverly : Hey. Wait. How did… How did you grow it out?

 

Outside - Street

Wynonna : Doc, how can all of this have happened while we were in the garden?

Doc : Unless...

 

Homestead

Nicole : I broke my leg, and I came back to Purgatory but I had to retreat to the homestead. I did everything I could to keep it safe for you.

Waverly : Nicole, wait, just tell me. How long have I been gone?

Nicole : Don't you know? You've been gone… 18 months, three weeks and four days. All of you have.